Oh, the morning I've had....

Today started out so eventful! I was awakened by being told that I was so supposed to be at work 30 minutes ago. So I put on pants and shirt and went to work...45 minutes late. Oh the joys of the "grown-up" life. Where work is never ending. Isn't it just everything I'd hoped for when I was a child. As a child, I'd seen adulthood as being able to be my own boss, and do things my way. Oh was I naive back then. Haha! Mind you, I'm still a "young-un", but an old "young-un". I'm at that age where your expected to be a grown up. Oh what an age this is. I enjoy most of it though. Everyday brings something new to the table so life stays interesting!

Random thoughts to chew on...

Sometimes I look back and think about all the people I've encountered along the way. Some friends have been there since the beginning and are still around now to keep writing my story with me, while others came into my life for a short time and with them great memories followed. Its seems each had a piece to offer to my life, and i'm forever greatful for that. As life and circumstances change, the people that we are surrounded by, in turn, make changes themselves. Some people just aren't meant to make it to your future, but they fit perfectly into your past.
Everyone giving and taking from you until your made into the person that you are today. Now whether you like that person or not, that is your call. If not, take what you don't like and change it. Its that simple, but as we know something so simple can be so hard.

I for one, can see that my life is constantly changing and who I am is constantly changing. I'm always trying to make improvments. These keeps me going, and knowing that maybe some people and ways of thinking didn't make it to the here and now for a reason is a comfort. Its nice to be comfortable in your own skin.

Nobody said it was easy...

And I thought it would be easy. Sitting here day to day. As the years go by, the days go by faster and faster. Sometimes I feel as if I'm drowning in a sea of time. I'm not saying that my life isn't good or fulfilling, I'm just saying its going by so quickly that I can barely catch my breath. Here I am standing at the frontier of 21 years and I've already experienced so much life that I'm bursting. I'm constantly finding myself. Who I am. What I am. What it is that makes me tick. But sometimes I feel like I don't have enough time to even do that anymore. My day to day is filled with work, sleep, other people. Here, Now, Today, is my time. Only I don't own it anymore.

Some ramblings of the complex heart....

I like to think of life as a work in progress, and all the crazy things I've done are just little highlights of the less mundane. If you judge me by the crazy then you must be insane. Its almost unthinkable how complex I am, with my dreams, beliefs, hopes, and drive for life. Everything has brought me right here, and I'm happier here than I've ever been. Go ahead and try to get a grasp on this trainwreck named Nikki...you'll be trying for the impossible. I've never claimed perfection, and I don't want to. I'm more interested in the imperfections of life. Because what would life be without these interesting imperfections. All I can say is that one day i'm going to look back on my life and i'm going to say that I did it all, and have no regrets. I won't regret the stupid things because they made me smarter. I won't regret the sad things because they made me stronger. I won't regret the hardest things because they made me have endurance. I'm going to look back and say I did it, and I did it how I wanted it done!